August 26, 2009

Cutting Cost? You must read this

Okay it’s been some time I wanted to write about this. Last year when I was working with a large organization the first initiative they took up as a part of cost cutting initiatives was they reduced the thickness of the tissue paper used in the loo. Then they removed employees (LOL)

Just looking at the crazy ideas people are getting these days, I thought I shall share all such nonsense to the world and might be who is crazy but did not get these ideas can implement them.

1.    Remove tissue paper from bathrooms.
2.    Remove the soap solution at the wash basins
3.    Use cheap paper in the loo or if you think your guys only wash, remove the paper
4.    Do not put any glasses next to the water purifiers. Ask people to get their own bottles to fill. If you want to be kind, just put one glass and place a poster saying, “This glass is washed twice everyday”
5.    Don’t use coir or soft carpet. Use a plastic one. It can be cleaned easily. The cost of carpet shampoo can be avoided.
6.    Switch on only every other alternate light. Switch off the remaining.
7.    Switch off the AC during lunch hour.
8.    Charge for four wheeler parking space. This way all employees shall get only two wheelers or use public transport and reduce the carbon footprint 
9.    Switch off the coolers; just let them function only as purifiers.
10.    Cut the size of the coffee cups.
11.    Install the coffee machines very far from the employees’ work spaces. So they get frustrated to walk till them and stop having coffee.
12.    Rent some space in front of the office for a chaiwala who sells cigarettes etc. so people would prefer going out for a smoke and then have tea there.
13.    Also you would get some rent.
14.    Call those guys who place TVs in offices for advertising purposes. Ask them to start their business in all common areas and they would pay you for it.
15.    Rent small office spaces in cafeterias to people who would like to sell clothing or some fancy stuff etc.
Technical
1.    Install printer, don’t give paper. Keep the paper with the manager
2.    Allow Google access to only employees who are on a project
3.    Remove dialing outside number access to all employees, except managers or above
4.    Do not provide any stationery to the employees.
5.    Give the manager one diary yearly, enough

If I get to find or hear any other nasty things in this domain I shall post it.
Have fun guys.